Should I Get a Mediator for My Norwell Divorce?

Mediation is a valuable tool for resolving disputes in divorce. It can help move the divorce process along in many circumstances, but not always. Therefore, it’s important to understand what the mediation process entails in Norwell divorces and whether your divorce and unique circumstances indicate you could benefit from it. 

What is mediation?

Mediation is one of a few forms of alternative dispute resolution that can keep you and your spouse out of court. It isn’t required in Massachusetts divorces, so it’s altogether your and your spouse’s choice if you want to try it. If you and your spouse find it isn’t effective and negotiations come to a standstill, it won’t prevent you from seeking judicial intervention, including going to trial later. 

How does the mediation process work?

During mediation, both spouses come together, usually around a conference table in a neutral location, such as the mediator’s office, to discuss how best to resolve issues in their divorce. The idea is for the mediator to facilitate talks between the spouses and lead them to agree on the terms of their divorce. 

A mediator cannot and will not offer spouses legal advice. That is for their respective lawyers to do, which is why it’s best not to rely on a mediator exclusively – especially if you have a lot on the line in divorce. 

Though Norwell divorce attorneys may attend mediation sessions in Massachusetts, mediation can proceed without them. That being said, the presence of a family law attorney can, at a minimum, comfort divorcing parties as well as provide more opportunities for divorcing spouses to receive legal guidance from their individual counsel.

Mediation is not the same as arbitration, another form of alternative dispute resolution. Though the terms are often used interchangeably, doing so is incorrect. In an arbitration, the arbitrator, the person leading the meeting, decides on behalf of the parties the terms of the agreement. A mediator, on the other hand, oversees the meeting by fostering an atmosphere of civility and order so the spouses have a better chance at resolving their issues amicably. 

More specifically, a divorce mediator helps the couples identify the issues keeping them from finalizing their divorce. By crystalizing the root causes of the parties’ disagreement, opposing spouses can approach their issues systematically, understanding why and how they can resolve them. 

The mediator can also opine on how strong or weak the case is, including each side’s arguments. The mediator can similarly identify the spouses’ common goals, such as how to co-parent effectively while prioritizing the best interests of their children if they have them. 

Once the parties have the issues in the case on the table, so to speak, the mediator can present possible solutions for resolving them, analyze settlement offers, and finalize the agreement should the divorcing spouses reach one. Reaching an agreement isn’t a given; the likelihood of success in mediation depends, in large part, on whether the spouses are good candidates for the process from the start. 

How can I determine whether mediation is a good fit for my spouse and me?

There are various factors to consider when deciding if mediation would be worth pursing to resolve your divorce out of a Massachusetts courtroom. Consider the following questions. 

Are you and your spouse both reasonable and stable?

The first question is whether you and your spouse are both reasonable and stable. If one or both of you aren’t, mediation may not be effective. If you are divorcing a narcissist, for example, and you are arguing over a significant issue in your divorce, such as child custody, mediation will likely break down. 

Both parties have to want to resolve their disagreements, and to do so, there will have to be concessions on both sides. Mediation won’t generally be successful if someone only sees one point of view and isn’t open to compromise.

Are you facing issues requiring immediate attention? 

Another factor to consider is whether you face any issues requiring immediate attention. For example, if you need to figure out a temporary financial arrangement for spousal and child support and a temporary parenting plan, mediation may take too long. 

There is, however, a caveat to temporary orders: The decisions you make early on can carry a lot of weight in the decision-making later. Massachusetts judges often don’t like to upset the apple cart unless there’s a compelling reason. 

Making the wrong decisions without having thought it through the way mediation demands can put you in a bad spot if you aren’t able to resolve your case by agreement. Therefore, you should assess your circumstances carefully to determine if you would benefit from representation in the present (most people would), even if you decide to mediate down the road in the divorce process. Having representation from a Norwell divorce attorney early on can help you better understand your rights and what’s at stake. 

Where do you fall on the “risk spectrum” in a divorce?

There are certain factors characterizing a marriage that would make mediation more or less of a viable option. Short marriages, those with few assets, marriages where there’s little disparity in income, and marriages where there are no kids are considered low risk for negotiations breaking down and good candidates for amicable resolution by mediation. 

A long marriage, a marriage where there are many assets subject to division in divorce, a marriage where there’s a large disparity in spouses’ income, such as where one spouse was a stay-at-home parent, or a marriage with a child or children, are at higher risk for a mediation breaking down, especially when conducted without counsel. These types of divorces also place you at higher risk of making a mistake that will compromise you long-term.

The more there is on the line, the more sense it makes to consider engaging an attorney specifically to advise you, even if you are choosing mediation.

Hire a Norwell Divorce Lawyer for Mediation or Litigation

Hire a Norwell divorce lawyer to help you mediate or litigate your divorce should mediation break down. 

Divorce, even the seemingly simple ones, can be daunting. Easy, friendly divorces can also devolve into high-conflict divorces due to disagreements on important issues that could have long-lasting implications for you and your children. Whether you are contemplating divorce or have started the divorce process, or if you have any doubts about where you fall on the risk spectrum for mediation and whether you need legal guidance, it’s best to meet with a Norwell divorce attorney anyway so that you understand your legal rights and obligations. 

Consulting with legal counsel doesn’t mean you must commit to representation; you are meeting strictly for educational purposes to make an informed decision about how to proceed next. At Farias Family Law, our skilled team of Norwell, MA divorce lawyers have extensive experience mediating and, if necessary, litigating divorces from the most straightforward to the most complex. Call our office today.